Highest of Highs, Lowest of Lows

Man, quite a range of feelings tonight. Started out great, headed out to the Chumash Indian Casino when enticed by a friend of mine... He and his two roommates met up with me there after I brought along a guy and girl from my hall... Seemed like as soon as I walked in I was winning. Hit the Let it Ride table first, got some decent hands, but then busted out a full house after going about halfway through my initial $100, that won me $200 right off the bat, and I was ahead for the rest of the night... Eventually made it over to the machines and popped a $20 in there, ended up cashing out with $100 following a half hour session there, headed for the cashier again... By the time we left around midnight I was up a couple hundred... Pretty nice, although one can't be guaranteed that amount of luck each time, its nice to know the next couple times I'll be playin with their money...

I've been seriously abusing the elipses lately. For some reason my thoughts don't feel like completed sentences, more like fragment run-ons that need an elipsis to emphasize them as such. Go figure.

Worst part about the casino is the smoke though, I guess it makes sense that people who are addicted to gambling would be addicted to other things just as easily, but man, after a couple hours in there I feel like my lungs are closing up, always a relief to get out into the open air afterwards. Basically had a great all around time, probably because I was winning. Currently listening to "At the End" by Linkin Park, quite a catchy chorus, been whistling it for at least a couple days now.

I swear, the world's most lame thing is when one meets someone who one thinks is really neat, gets to know them and go wow what a great person, and then suddenly one finds out one day something about them that just shatters this ideal image one had. Like watching someone light up a cigarette, stumble back into their room from DP totally wasted, or find out something about their personality that is just an absolute clash with one's own.

Sometimes I feel like I'm too self-righteous or too rigid about my morals and opinions on such subjects, but trying to change that would just be lying to myself. I don't think everyone is too far gone though... Like the guy I made a bet with so he would stop smoking, I think many of those types of people have the will to change their ways, they just need a good enough reason.

Am I the only one who looks for commitment and trust and values in a relationship? Am I the only one who notices someones eyes before any other curve on their body? Am I the only one who's going through college not to "play the field" but instead find the right someone special? Am I the only one that doesn't put the physical aspect of a relationship at top priority?

I feel like barfing. I'm not sure whether its the smoke inhalation, or just the things I've heard about and witnessed today. I can only hope I'm only seeing part of the story, that there's something behind it that reveals the true reasoning and gives it a purpose . If there isn't one, then why would someone lower themselves to that level?