Doremifasewlatidooooooo

Made an awesome decision tonight in cancelling plans with some friends in order to attend a concert I'd already said I would go to a week prior (I never remember these things)... It was the fall concert for Naked Voices, the only a capella group here at UCSB. My friend on the fifth floor was performing, as well as someone I knew from the third floor last year. The first song they did was "Earth Song" by Michael Jackson. This had been a favorite of mine from years ago, back when his HIStory cd first came out. Hearing it again was like a blast from the past, and they just performed it beautifully. I was seriously amazed, a lot of what they did was just mind blowing.

Literally made me want to go try out then and there, then came the realization I was most likely not at the talent level that they need, and might not be able to mesh with the group and such. Basically a lot of the reasons I end up not going through with a lot of things I consider. I've never thought I had very good range as a vocalist, and no one outside my mother has ever taken me seriously (guys singing = cute, but not cool). I'll probably get into something music related some day. One of those things I do on rainy days. Teach myself piano, sing, whistle, anything to make the day a little brighter.

Tried something new at Carrow's tonight, which tends to be a pretty rare thing when it comes to me and food. The southwestern crispy rolls, or something. Yummy stuff, although unhealthy as my eating buddy pointed out. Then came a petty argument about something not worth arguing about. Least to me it seemed petty. We settled it eventually though, striking a deal to not bother each other about a specific thing that we felt was important even though the other person did not. So anyway. If only all riddles and relationships were so easy to solve.

ShuffStaffel!

No idea whether I'm spelling it right, and most of you probably don't care, but some of you will recognize that as a familiar grunt from the enemies in the first person shooter (fps) computer game that started it all, Wolfenstein 3D. I must have been in about 6th grade or something when that originally came out, even before the grandaddy of them all, Doom. Made quick work of its sequel tonight, of the title Return to Castle Wolfenstein. The differences between the games are profound however. Largely due to my graphics card, some of the visuals are just breathtaking. By far some of the best World War II areas such as bombed cities and factories I've ever seen in a computer game. It was very realistic, almost like it was right out of Saving Private Ryan or Enemy at the Gates. The set pieces were incredible, they did things I've never seen done in that type of game. Of course, it was created based on the Quake 3 engine, my personal favorite, so I suppose I'm a little biased. Still working on finishing Alien vs Predator 2, which thus far has also been very impressive with some absolutely humongous level sizes, albeit a short game altogether.

Now that those of you who don't share my passion for computer games (all of you) have fallen asleep... I'll do the same. :)

Highway Run Into the Midnight Sun...

Downloaded "Faithfully" by Journey tonight, not sure why I didn't have it before. I'm an 80's fan for the most part, enjoy collecting the songs I heard so much growing up. Some melodies just stick in your head for ages, hearing them come on the radio is like hearing a familiar voice, catching a whiff of a familiar scent, or tasting a favorite food. The ones I catch myself whistling randomly even if I haven't heard them in a few years.

Had a contemplative conversation with someone I met recently tonight, interesting enough that it had us both up at 4am. If there's one person its useful to know, its the one that can give the best back massage. Had the usual conversation about my driver's license picture...

Them: HOLY JEEZ YOU WERE SKINNY
Me: Gee thx.
Them: No you're not fat now, well I mean you're fatter than you were but its not bad, I mean, well you know?
Me: ...

General consensus appears to be its nice not to be skin and bones, but I could use some improvement anyway. Guess I haven't been honest with myself updating the weight lately. After the first five pounds or so it seems to be quite stagnant. I'm sure going home will change things, since at home what you eat tends to be what you fix, and if you don't fix you don't eat.

Winamp's shuffle just managed to pick Mark Schultz's "He's My Son" out of the mix. Still one of the most heartfelt songs I've ever heard. I remember the first time I heard it, when I was on my way to work last summer. The story behind it told prior and the song itself kept me in the car an extra five minutes, causing me to be late to work and earning me a reprimand. Truth be told, I didn't care. Just a really touching song. Word of warning, its hopeful, but not cheerful.

COME ON DOWN!!!!!!

Thursday was Price is Right day. This was cool because I only found out about it the day before from a friend of mine on the 5th floor. Each two floors is considered a unit hall that meets together and such in this building, so mine is the 3rd/4th. Unfortunately (for the girls) there is a greater number of them this year, so the floor breakdown is 5 girl/3 guy. So anyway, the 5th/6th are both female floors, and they were the ones going, but needed drivers, so I was able to go. In other words there were about twenty girls, their R/A and our ARD, and me. I wasn't complaining.

Ended up having an absolute blast like I always do when we go to the Price Is Right (this is my third time, once each year). It started out kind of crummy, we left at 7:15am to a chorus of rainstorms and traffic, ended up taking WAY longer than usual to get to LA, almost got there too late, were supposed to be there at 10:30 and didn't make it til 11, luckily enough of us got there on time to hold down the fort and save our slots.

We went through the usual five hour screening process, where you get your nametags, get a short interview from the producers, and so on and so forth. Eventually got inside, got to hear the same speech by Rod Roddy (no idea on the spelling there) and eventually the show started. There's an absolute ton of energy in that room, reminds me of Disneyland at New Years. So to make a long story short, I didn't get picked again (sniffle sniffle) but our ARD did, and ended up winning a cool 13 G's in cash. I should mention that if you take a group of twenty or more people they guarantee that one of them will make it into contestants row. Rolando (the ARD) ended up making most of his money on the big wheel, spinning .35 and .65 for a grand the first time around, and then hitting the 1.00 on his bonus spin for another ten grand. Must be nice... :P

Afterward we all went to Universal Citywalk, somewhere I'd never been before (sad, given I live in LA). That place was actually really awesome, plenty of cool restaurants in there, fun shops, the whole area seeming much like an amusement park (it basically is). Wow, major abuse of parentheses in this post. We ate at the Hard Rock cafe, had some yummy burgers and such. Drive back was actually really lame, both the friends of mine that were riding with me fell asleep, and I had some major trouble trying to keep from hitting the sack myself (while driving). Ended up pulling off in Ventura to circle surface streets for a bit and shake myself back into it, where I ended up seeing a fire in progress, ambulances and fire engines and everything. That shocked me awake to the point the rest of the drive was no problem, but was still pretty boring. Then again any drive is boring after you've done it over fifty times.

More later, I'm only caught up through Thursday, and its Sunday night/Monday morning now. :)

ASDLKJASFDLKJ

Okay, I'm bad. So I'm gonna start posting in chunks since a full post on the last few days would be really, really, long.

We'll start with Wednesday. This was the day I carried out a decision I made the week prior. Well I guess I have to start there, really.

So I'm doing my math homework on Wednesday, planning to drive home much later that night. The thought occurs to me that I have no interest in the field of math I'm doing homework in. Then I come to the realization that I haven't enjoyed doing homework or going to class in quite some time. So to make a long story short I hop in the car around 3pm, fed up with what I'm doing, what I'm not doing, and life in general. Its about a three hour ride down to my house from UCSB if I take the winding Highway 1, and on a day such as the Wednesday before Thanksgiving I tend to go that way, since I'd rather enjoy a peaceful ride with a wonderful view all along the way, than sitting in the smog and horn honking wilderness that is the 405. So basically on the way home I decide I'm not going to major in computer science at UCSB. Yeah, kind of bad to come to this conclusion once already seven quarters into college. Then again, that's better than being twenty years down the road and deciding you hate what you do.

So after hours of discussion with the parents (the father was less than pleased that this last quarter has been wasted repeating classes I ended up withdrawing from) it was decided that I'd switch over to Business Economics. The theory is I got four's on both the Macroecon and Microecon AP's, and have always liked/been good at it, so I shouldn't have any problem with the major. Besides which, a Buis Econ degree will be useful in the same companies I was planning to work at preferrably, specifically something to do with the recreational technology industry.

Hm, rereading that I spelled Busi differently in two places. Turns out its Busi. That doesn't really work when tryin to say "bis econ" like most people do. Hm...

So Wednesday was spent following through with all the paperwork, in order to change college/major, and also withdraw from the current quarter and get reaccepted into the Winter one. This was basically an eight hour process, from an early morning appointment through the middle of the afternoon. One particular piece of paper (the application for withdrawal) required signatures from like eight different places around campus, which meant crisscrossing campus on my bike at least a dozen times. In particular Housing and Residential Services made my life a living hell, as they tried to tell me I would have to move out of my room for the next two weeks and give it to someone else, just so that I would move into somewhere else next quarter once a registered student again. Retarded.

So finally got all my stuff in the mail, turns out my Econ classes and such stay registered for next quarter, so I'm done with all the paperwork and mumbojumbo that was required. Basically for two weeks I can focus on other aspects of my life that have been recently ignored. Next update in a bit.

More Apologies...

Its only 9:30pm, and I'm more tired than when I hit the sack at 7am. Insanely long/tiring day today, gonna hit the sack early. However, big story about a life altering event that has been occurring over the last few days, as well as one about how fun today was (til the last hour). I promise I'll have it up tomorrow. Now I just need to sleepaseprajserakserjlkaaaafffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

A Quick Note...

Been busy filling out mounds of paperwork and tracking down tons of signatures today, too tired to tell the story just yet.

Also leaving at 7am tomorrow to appear on The Price Is Right, wish me luck! I want a new car! ;)

"I Think He's Pretty Cool."

Such a simple statement, that. Yet one would be amazed how much of an affect it can have on a person. It can take a particularly gloomy day and cut a ray of sunshine through the storm.

Was at Carrow's with a friend of mine discussing our woes when we bumped into another friend of mine and her roommate who had been there at the same time as us, randomly. At some point during the conversation my initial friend made a joke about me, and after a pause my other friend's roommate followed up with the line above. Even though I was being referred to in the third person, it still made me feel really great. I don't know the girl very well, but it still made a difference. I'm still smiling. :)

Speaking of woes, its been an interesting few days, basically life altering. Things have definitely changed for the better though, and I'm optimistic about what the future may hold. Its a long story, I'll fill you in later.

Ooooohhh Ahhhhhhh

The feel of a keyboard that doesn't sound obnoxious... The joy of an optical mouse that causes the cursor to actually move to where you tell it... The comfort of a leather chair perfectly fitted around your person... The silence whenever you want it...

These are the wonderful things about being back at school that I love so much. That and the fact there's actually a social atmosphere. Pretty uneventful day other than the driving, unpacking, relaxing... Had a wonderful drive up Highway 1, didn't see any traffic at all, and it was just a gorgeous day. This post is making me feel old, I'll cut it short. :)

The Mack Attack Is Back Jack

Er yeah, back in the dorm, phone plugged back in, and all that jazz. :)

Here's To The Night's We Felt Alive...

And unfortunately, could not sleep a wink... Another one of those wide awake mornings when its only 1:30am, strange, must be something in the water down here.

Just had another invigorating conversation with someone I've never met, I'm not sure what makes me so into those. Something neat about discussing random issues with a random someone, hearing opinions you've never heard, exchanging smilies with someone you've never seen before. I guess its all due to my physicality complex, I've always thought I was just average looking, not exactly the type of person one would meet and be like "WOW HES SO HOT." Meeting people through forums that doesn't include physical appearances always allows me to show them what's really there, escape all the premature assumptions.

Chatting with a friend as we speak, and said something close to what's above, and she seems to think girls find confidence attractive. If that's the case, I'm probably screwed. I've never had the swagger that some drunken orcs have when they stumble into a room full of women, and suddenly become chick magnets. Then again, I guess I'm not really looking for that kind of person anyway.

Strangely enough, I'm not as desperate for female companionship as it might seem. Now that I think about it, I'm perfectly satisfied with having a berjillion female friends. The only thing missing there is the deep commitment, and the physicalities. Yeah the first would be nice, but if it isn't there, why force it or kill myself looking?

Why does this feel like a pep talk.

Anyway, back to the random someone. Turns out as is sometimes the case I'll actually end up meeting her at some point, which is cool. Think I mentioned at some point my random trip to Ohio to meet one of those random people (wasn't female though, and I'd known him online for a few years through a computer game, scary thought as it is). She actually seems to be the type to do her homework, get good grades, all that academic stuff, maybe it'll rub off. :) In any case, she satisfies the three requirements I have in friends I enjoy spending time with: 1. Breathing. 2. Good decision making skills about certain issues I feel strongly about. 3. Can put together a coherent sentence with words longer than four letters not including "like". :)

Yeah, its kind of sad now that I think about that I have a selection process for friends. I guess some things are just very important to me, and I feel more at home with people who are like minded. I think we're all that way, whether we admit it or not. Subconscious assumptions, stereotypes, categorizing, etc.

This is a pathetically convoluted post. See what 3am gets you.

Anyway. Back to school I go, manana.

Sex In Space May Not Work

"Scientists who have been looking into the movement of sperm in space, with its lower gravity, believe that they have found out that sex in space may not lead to pregnancies because the lack of gravity causes a change in it. Spem, when in space, moves around a lot more than it does on the earth, but unfortunately the lack of gravity means that a enzyme that is supposed to tell it when to stop moving does not kick in, so it cannot fertilise an egg." (www.shortnews.com)

Damn. Remember how I said I would be part of that first mission to live on Mars? There's a kink in my plans.

Wait a second. They don't mean sex won't work, they mean PREGNANCY, don't they? Hm.. Maybe that's a plus, then. :)

Don't get me wrong, I love kids, its just... well dangit, never mind I'm going to go force myself to sleep more.

P.S. I'd like to thank BRUCE from the St. Louis area, someone I met online through an online gaming thing and have kept in touch with, for happening to be active on my AIM list and entertaining me for several crucial minutes on the path through boredom. You go, girl.

Tick, Tock.

Tonight was one of those nights where you go to bed relatively early (meaning 10 or 11pm) and after a nice full sleep wake up feeling fresh and ready to start the day, glance over at the usual digits, and see 1:30am. Bust. At school this would be a good thing, time to catch up on homework, movie watching, or go invade someone's room down the hall. At home for Thanksgiving, that just means internet surfing until anyone sane will log on and talk to you.

No dice so far.

I wonder if I've ever repeated a little heading thingy title. I hope not. That would be so, not creative.

So I was having fun with google (not a pet, the search engine) and dumping in random things, trying to find interesting people in my general area of the world. I think it was "friendly ucsb" that ended up bringing me to a particular female's page. It was an excellent read, neat that there are people like that out there. I then proceeded to make a retard of myself by posting a hundred something line entry in her guestbook about how cool that was, next to all the two and three liners. I guess e-mail would have been more intelligent. Sigh.

Some people get that "don't know what say" or "frog in your throat" thing when talking to new people. My problem tends to be I talk a lot, and end up saying something that just sucks. Case in point:

Scene: Airbus from Oakland Airport to BART station, window seat next to strange looking young man.
Conversation lead in: Discussing why we're both in the area, him because he's looking at Berkeley for graduate school having just come from MIT, me because I'm bored.

M: Yeah, glad that we're on vacation now, finals week was a real pain, physics just blew me away. I'm glad that there are other people crazy enough to pursue the subject, because they're saving me a life of torture. So, what are you planning to study?
New Person: Quantum and Theoretical Physics, actually... [nervous giggle]
M: [grabs his sneaker, inserts it orally, and proceeds to choke] Ah, hehe. Well, there ya go, everyone does what they like, whatever floats your boat, blows your skirt up, that kind of thing.
[the bus door opens, and the young man hurriedly escapes]

I was reminded of this because the new girl is also a physics major, something that impresses me, even if I loathe the subject myself. Real world problems are cool when its a ball bouncing, a man running around a track, cars racing, etc. Integrating the ocean moving across a region of the sand bottom in relation to the tides causing wave formations, is not cool.

Hm. There was a strange piece of hardware sitting over here next to my father's computer. I picked it up cuz it looked fun, was able to bend back in forth. Then it broke in half. Luckily, it was because there were about twenty individual parts that were fastened together, so it was easily fixable. Remind me not to touch things like that anymore. :/

[Shoulders Some People Out Of the Way To Reach The Computer]

Ah, finally some time on the ol keyboard. Least once everyone goes to sleep there's some peace and quiet around here.

My legs feel pretty well dead, like they're about to fall off.

Made the mistake of going over to play soccer/football with the brother at the ol high school stomping grounds. That's two ol's in four sentences. WAYYYY too much old people influence around here. Next I'll start exclaiming yeehaw and screaming "WHERES MY DENTURES." So anyway, found out I can punt a football 50 yards in the air, but can only kick like a 48 yard field goal. Must be the fact that when you kick its end over end, but punting spirals and if you have wind that helps, or something. Playing soccer in the dark is pretty tough. Depth perception just isn't there.

The biggest mistake came when I challenged him to run a hundred yards in less than sixteen seconds, turned out it only took him fourteen eight. This of course caused me to have to do it to see if I could still move faster than the usual couch to fridge chug, turned out I snagged thirteen six. A far cry from my twelve flat or something days of high school track (don't get my wrong that isn't fast, my events were the half and mile, but that was fast for me :) ) but its decent enough anyway. This of course led to exclaims of cheating with the watch, so we both had to go down and race at the same time. I let him get a jump start to give me something to catch (I'm insanely competitive, its what keeps me going in most sports even when it seems like there's nothing left to give) but it turned out I was gaining on him pretty much the whole first fifty yards (lengthening my lead that is) until he began to pull up with some sort of miraculous knee injury (that was fine five minutes later). So anyway, still faster than the brother. Something tells me the quads and hammys are going to be angry with me in the morning though, even though I stretched before and after.

Just to put the above in perspective in case half of you out there are ready to brag about your hundred yard times (I'm setting off my own inferiority complex with no outside help, how pathetic is that) consider the fact that I'm two hundred pounds, and my bro is two fifteen. In my track days I was at least one fifty, probably more like one thirty five.

Speaking of the whole weight thing, the scale here read 199 this morning. Course then there was Thanksgiving. Then again I did get a lot of exercise afterward. We'll have to see how the rest of the weekend goes, and what the scale I've been using regularly at school says when I get back. 195 maybe? Heh. We'll see.

Hooppee Belated Turkey Day All!

Fat People. And Lots of Them.

Yep, I'm home again. :) [waits for the boos and jeers]

Had a pretty boring 3+ hour ride instead of the usual <2... Listened to some old tapes from my childhood, found one where I recorded myself singing Richard Marx - Right Here Waiting, which was especially interesting since my voice hadn't changed and was a few octaves higher. Creating a melody with a younger version of myself, scary thought.

Highway 1 at first seemed like the intelligent move given the hour long process it took just to get out of Santa Barbara... Til I discovered there was a twenty mile detour, and later got stopped by a cop blocking the road so someone doing at least 100mph could come blasting by being chased by like six cruisers. Then there was the usual road construction and missed signals, anyway, I got here. :/

Met my new grandmother for the first time tonight, that was... interesting. My dad's mother died about five or so years ago from cancer, she was always really nice to me. My dad's father just recently remarried, so my dad's having fun struggling with the term "stepmom." Must be pretty trippy, especially fifty years into life. She smokes, so that's annoying, I'm allergic to basically the scent, or being around it for long periods of time. Its a good thing too, or I'd probably be at the casino more. :) Other than that she seems nice, other than the usual tries to fit in with the family too soon and "treat her new grandchildren like her old ones" as she said. That involves things like batting my hand randomly when I was cracking my knuckles because she disapproved. To say the least, hasn't gone so well so far. Not like I'm allowed an opinion on the topic or anything, its a done deal, and given there won't be much contact, I'll try to ignore the situation. The best I can do is be civil.

Going to be doing a lot of thinking this weekend, could be some major shakeups in the realm of my future.

Darkness.

It's kind of pathetic when the only reason I know its time for bed is when I see the sun rising outside my window, and the only time I know I should be getting up is when its getting dark. Was out late last night with an old friend at Carrows, one I hadn't heard from in quite some time. We talked about the usual anything and everything, over the usual glass of strawberry lemonade.

Watched the new episode of 24 tonight, and made my first attempt at capturing it via TV card onto my computer. The main problem is with Windows XP I can't capture the audio and video simultaneously, so I had to use someone else's computer to cap the audio, and am in the process of putting it all together as we speak.

Won't be going home for Thanksgiving until late tomorrow (Wednesday) night, due to traffic being boring, and me not exactly having a long line of hot dates waiting for me when I get there.

Pop.

Was sitting in here with a friend tonight helping her with math, with the door halfway open, when quite the unusual event occurred. There was a balloon just sitting on the other side of the hallway outside my door minding its own business, when suddenly my sentence was interrupted by the sound of a large object stomping down the hallway and to our surprise, leaping into the air trying to stomp both of his feet down onto the balloon before he landed. He of course glanced off, and basically ended up launching himself horizontally further down the hallway and slamming into the ground with a resounding thump. The whole incident took about two seconds, but it was enough to keep my friend and I gasping for breath for the next several minutes.

The guy eventually managed to pop the balloon, on about the third stomp.

THE SKY IS FALLING!

Wow. I must have said that at least a million times tonight while watching the meteor shower.

The depressing thing is I almost missed it, inhibited by the fog that was very dense over campus and the surrounding area. On a hunch I hopped in the car and drove north a ways, planning to just get some exercise somewhere along the way with a nice jog, if I couldn't escape the fog. As luck would have it, it just got denser, to the point I was having to go about 30 mph on the freeway just to stay on the road. Luckily my luck changed, as I picked an exit to get off and turn around finally, I suddenly popped out of the fog into the most fiery night I've ever seen.

They came from all directions, all shapes and sizes and colors and brightness. There was a line of cars where I ended up, and the oohs and ahhs went on for hours. Being from LA originally, seeing that many stars is a unique experience in itself, but seeing them flying all over the place in a magnificent display was just breathtaking.

They say its not going to happen to that extent again until 2099. Well, I plan to be alive to see that one too, but figured to be safe I better not miss this one. :) To all those who missed it, I feel sorry for you. :/

Progress...

Yikes, big ol poker game tonight. Ended up even after four or so hours, after everyone else but one guy had been cleaned out. Needless to say one guy took home a nice share of the pot. That's generally what happens though, eventually it'll be me. :)

Played a foursome in racquetball today, including the best girl I've played with so far in the few years I've been hammerin away... She and I ended up winning a game and keeping the other two pretty close against two better than decent guys, pretty impressive I'd say.

Starving again, and its taking a lot of willpower not to eat the muffins/cookies in my drawer. Last night I had to basically slap myself to keep myself from doing it, managed to survive until the morning. I figure as long as I don't eat before bed, and exercise daily, I shouldn't have any problem reaching my goal.

200 flat said the scale, it'll be my first time under the dual century mark in at least a few months. 180 is the goal, here I come!

Twenty Pounds...

What do ya think, by January 1st? Think I'm gonna make that my goal. Who knows if I'll get to it, but I'll at least make a strong effort.

No more late night eating, overeating at meals, eating out all the time. More exercise daily, more sleep at normal hours.

I've said this before, I'll probably say it again. :/

202.5 said the scale today. We'll see where it takes us. Anyone want to join the crusade? Feel free, its a big ol party. :)