See the post of August 8th below for what was to be the final addition to this blog. After some deliberation I have decided to add one more, to finish the story.

Perfect.

Chasing perfection is a lifelong goal for many people. The concept of a perfectionist is someone who is only satisfied with a 100% score, or doing everything to the absolute best of their ability. When it comes to subjective topics however, like how amazing or wonderful a day or week might have been, it’s difficult to decide what “perfect” is. Well, it was difficult to decide until last week.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the Ira J. Husik award winner for JSUNT class 05-05 is… 2d Lt Matthew Wilson.” And so it ended. Nearly a year in the making, I was now staring down at a silver pair of wings on my chest. I’d also been given the award as the top navigator graduate in my class. Although my training at Randolph is now complete, the Air Force story is just beginning. Up next is Survival on March 7th, at Fairchild AFB, which will lead right into Water Survival on March 28th at NAS Pensacola. Then comes a three month hiatus during which I’ll probably be on casual status here at Randolph doing who knows what. July 13th is when I finally make my way to Little Rock AFB for C-130 training. After graduating there November 2nd, I’ll head to Kirtland AFB for training in my new airframe, the MC-130P. After four months at Kirtland I’ll finally PCS to my first duty station, RAF Mildenhall. It was my top choice, and my wife and I are looking forward to finally being collocated sometime in early 2006. Oh, did I say wife? I guess I better continue to clarify.

When last I left you I’d asked the most important question of my life, and received the answer I’d dreamed about. Although six months passed, it really does seem like a blur. I was deep in training, worried about my class rank, whether I’d get my top choice of plane or location, and was mired in the infamous wedding planning process. I’ll spare you the details, and skip ahead, to my alarm going off.

The young man instinctively and automatically reached his right hand to his left wrist and hit the indiglo button on his watch. The beeping ceased immediately, and he momentarily paused in that space between being asleep and awake. Only for a moment . Opening his eyes, he did not see the familiar ceiling of his apartment, and the blue glow from his space station of a computer. Confused for a split second, his mind raced to figure out where he was. The answer came easy. The Shades of Green Resort in Orlando, Florida. In an instant his mind poured out the rest of the relevant information. It was 0700. February 6th 2005. He was in room 5109. And somewhere down the hall, his fiancée was deep in preparation for the most important day of both their lives. By noon, they would be married.

It’s easy to describe the way I felt as I eventually climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom to begin my own somewhat simpler preparations. It was like waking up on the morning of a trip to Disneyland, or a graduation ceremony, or a birthday. There’s that extra excitement, and it’s that much easier to wake up and get the adrenaline flowing. That day in particular, I had no shortage of energy. As I performed the minimal tasks required for a man to look his best, or at least acceptable, I couldn’t help but smile at my reflection in the mirror. Disbelief is one of the most profound emotions I felt that day. It was really happening. I’d asked someone to be my wife, and they’d said yes. By the end of the day I’d be wearing a ring, signifying that someone loved me as much as I loved them. I had never been sure or even confident that the day would ever come, and here it was. I truly was the luckiest man in the world.

The tux fitting had gone smoothly, so there were no last minute fixes necessary. I’d chosen the two button variety, with a fullback vest. While the groomsmen and my father all wore the long four-in-hand tie, it was solely myself who was to wear a bow tie. I always liked the look ever since my high school prom, and was very happy with the way it turned out. It was as I put on the vest and tie that some of the nervousness began to set in. I wasn’t just a groomsman getting ready to stand to the side while a couple got married. It was me that was in white. I was to be the center of attention, with a hundred pairs of eyes staring at me. Well, at least until the Bridal Chorus started playing. My best man had arrived by that time, and as he helped me tighten the tie we revisited a joke I’d used at his wedding a few months prior, that of asking the question of whether his feet were not just cold, but “frigid.” In reality, I couldn’t wait. I had no doubt that my fiancée was indeed my perfect match. I’d announced to her previously that if necessary, I would chase her down and tackle her, dress and all to prevent her from escaping the ceremony. She continuously convinced me that she would not be running away.

The photographer stopped by, and we agreed to meet down in the lobby with the other groomsmen to get me out of the way of the proceedings down the hall. After having various family members run interference and get clearance to proceed, we headed for the elevator. I felt like I had my own secret service, complete with people yelling “THE EAGLE HAS LEFT THE CAGE” into earpiece microphones. The maids all beamed at me as I passed; apparently they’d been tipped off that the groom would be the one in the bow tie, although the color scheme should have made it obvious as well. After various pictures with the photographer, the groomsmen headed to the little restaurant down the stairs towards from the front of the hotel from the lobby, and basically just sat around chatting it up for a while. I’d only had a muffin for breakfast up in the room, but eating apparently wasn’t on my body’s agenda. As 9:30 approached we moved back upstairs so the groomsmen could move into position, and many of the guests began to arrive. It was as I greeted the high school and college friends of mine that had made the journey out to Orlando just to attend the wedding that I started getting even more nervous. These weren’t various relatives of my fiancée that I’d never met, these were people who knew me well. I can only imagine how shocked they all were when I told them of my engagement. It certainly wasn’t “in the books” for this to happen so quickly, but it had. My aunt, who was performing the ceremony, arrived at the lobby and we all started walking downstairs and outside to where the ceremony would be held. They had a gazebo on property which had been set up for the event, with a long paved walkway through various flowers, gardens, rocks, and ponds leading to it from the area outside the elevators. It was at the end of this walkway that I was to remain until called upon near the start of the ceremony. The bridal party was to traverse the hotel to the far end from my position, and eventually appear from that doorway a few hundred yards away. As I stood there by myself as the minutes ticked by, I spent most of the time rehearsing my vows. We’d decided to write our own, and had absolutely no knowledge of what the others would be like. We’d also decided to memorize them, which was a bit intimidating having never practiced them in front of a live person. I must have gone over them in my head about fifty times while I stood there. Guests continued to arrive, and I could see everyone slowly making their way to their seats.

It was as I paced back and forth that I almost made a huge mistake. Glancing at my reflection in the nearby large window, my vision momentarily focused on what was on the other side. All I saw was the color lilac in various forms. Knowing this was the color of the bridesmaids dresses, I immediately covered my face and turned away. The various exasperated screams I heard moments later through the wall confirmed my fears. They had started making their way to the other end of the hotel, but had taken the only set of elevators to the first floor first, and thus were passing by my position on the interior just as I happened to glance in that direction. Thankfully, I saw no white, although she later said that she got a glimpse of me. The helpful thing about the near fiasco was I now knew that the ceremony would soon begin, and my heart rate began to quadruple.

Eventually my aunt motioned towards me, and I began the seemingly marathon walk to the gazebo. The bridesmaids and groomsmen were all lined up on the opposing walkway, and I took the few short steps with my aunt to the gazebo to take my position. As I clasped my hands in front of me I could feel them shaking, although I don’t think it was visible. Soon afterward the harpist started playing inside the gazebo, and I remember the sound being quite soothing as it echoed underneath. I glanced throughout the guests, and received many a smile as I made eye contact with them. They say everything goes by really fast when you’re up there, and they aren’t kidding. I had barely blinked before the first pair of attendants was making their way up the aisle. Soon after came the rest, with my sister and brother being among them. I’m sure they more than anyone were flabbergasted that they were attending their brother’s wedding before he turned thirty. Next came the flower girl and ring bearer, who were the cutest little things you ever did see. It was while my focus was distracted on them that I suddenly became aware that the song being played was now the Bridal Chorus. My gaze darted to the left, where I realized my fiancée had already come through the doorway where she’d been hidden and already traversed a dozen yards down the walkway toward the aisle runner. I distinctly remember the first time I saw her, even though she was still a hundred feet away.

I now have the impossible task of describing how she looked. After a few attempts, getting frustrated, leaving this document alone for a couple days, coming back, and continuing to realize how futile a task it is, I’ve come up with this.

One word seems to fit more than all others. Stunning. I have five senses, one of which is sight. That sense has never been as overwhelmed as it was in that moment. All sound, scent, taste, and feel left me instantaneously. All I could do was see, and all I could see was her. She was my bride. And a perfect bride she was.

Although I continued to stare at her unblinkingly, she continued to move towards me, eventually coming within arms reach. Taking her arm in mine, we made the final few steps together towards my aunt. Looking over at her, I could see that my nervousness was not alone. You all have been to probably many a wedding, and you probably know how they go. There were a few moments during the ceremony that meant a lot to both of us however. These were the times when I’d feel her hand or arm squeeze mine a little tighter, or I’d slowly place the sign language I love you that we use so often on her forearm or elbow. The first was “I do” as we made our pledge to each other. It all passed so quickly however, that in no time at all my aunt was prompting my fiancée to begin her vows. After a few deep breaths, she looked up into my eyes, and began.

“Growing up I would wish on shooting stars, lucky pennies and pretty much anything and everything for someone to come along who would love me as much as I would love them. I found that person in you Matt. I didn’t know it when I met you, but later I realized not only had I found my best friend but my perfect match. You showed me a whole new world when you asked me to be a part of yours and I’d like to share a song which I feel expresses what I’m trying to say. [she sings] ‘So this is love, hmm mmm hmm mmm… so this is love… so this is what makes life divine… I’m all aglow, hmm mmm hmm mmm… and now I know… the key to all heaven is mine… My heart has wings, hmm mmm hmm mmm and I can fly… I’ll touch every star in the sky… So this is the miracle that I’ve been dreaming of, hmm mmm hmm mmm… hmm mmm hmm mmm… so this is love.’ Matt this is my simple vow to you, I swear in front of God and everyone present to love you forever and beyond.”

I was utterly absorbed in everything she was saying until she began to say the last line that we’d agreed to share. I suddenly remembered that it was my turn. For the life of me, I couldn’t even remember the first word of my vows. Panic began to set in as my eyes glazed over and my brain cells searched the far reaches of my mind. Within seconds my eyes refocused on my fiancée however, and like orange juice into a glass, the words just seemed to flow.

“Soon after we met, I found myself in endless classes sitting right next to you. I had little interest in the subject matter, and a lot of interest in writing little notes back and forth. One note in particular I’ve kept to this day. During one of the many times I was staring at you when you weren’t looking, I was inspired to write a poem. ‘There she stood in the doorway. What held my gaze I cannot say. Her eyes crinkled with every smile, it made me feel warm for quite a while. It was wonderfully nice when she touched my hand. I felt I was the luckiest guy in all the land. Alas soon she will go somewhere far. Somewhere I can’t even reach by car. What will happen then, who really knows. We’ll find out if across the Atlantic, only water flows.’ Thankfully as we’ve learned since then, love transcends all physical boundaries. When I was a young boy I had a life to do list of sorts, a list of everything I wanted to see or do during my life. At the very bottom was my most important goal, my mission for life. It was three small words. Find the one. Mission accomplished. I’ll follow you anywhere, through the good times and bad, because as far as I’m concerned, I exist to be with you. And only you. Cheryl, this is my simple vow to you. I give you my word, that I will love you forever, and beyond.”

As I spoke the last few words, I could feel my eyes welling up. I ran my thumbs along the edge of her hands as I held them in mine, and I could see that she was holding back as well. The pressure off of both of us, we relaxed and became absorbed in the rest of the ceremony, not wanting to miss a moment. Soon after came one of our favorite parts, the line “with this ring, I thee wed.” We both managed to find the right finger, and they slid on with relative ease. What seemed like a instant later I was given the greatest permission a man can receive. “You may kiss the bride.” Slowly I lifted the veil that had lightly covered her face to this point, and placed it behind her head. Then came the most overly rehearsed and yet sweetest kiss we’d ever shared. All that was left was a turn to face the audience, an announcement that she’d picked up a new last name, and off we went. We walked back to where she’d been hidden prior to the ceremony, and I could tell we were both breathing deep sighs of relief. We started practicing our new vocabulary words. Wife. Husband. Married. It was then that I finally got a chance to attempt to describe how perfect she looked, although with little preparation time I didn’t do as good a job as I would have liked. We shared only a few precious seconds alone before we were surrounded with the wedding party and photographers, but I treasured them. Then we were escorted back outside for about a gazillion pictures, all of which you can see online through the photographer’s site. Near the end of this process was when I rediscovered my stomach, and we eventually made our way in to try the various edible materials. In between being greeted and greeting the various guests in the area outside of the reception ballroom we managed to swallow a few chicken fingers and other appetizers whole.

We didn’t have much time however, as a few short minutes later came the fifteen seconds of fame all newlyweds love. “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome for the very first time, Matthew and Cheryl Wilson!” The rousing cheer actually surprised me, I was expecting loud, but not that loud. Alas the party had just begun as we took our seats at the center of the head table.

Did I mention the food? Unfortunately I’d totally stuffed myself silly on the stuff outside the ballroom, which by the way was tremendously yummy. That was kind of a shame, as the meal we had arranged inside was just as good if not better. Caesar salad which has become my favorite kind, and as a main course both sirloin and crabbed stuffed shrimp which just made me say mmm mmm good. Eventually though after beating my stomach back into submission it was time for the glasses to be charged. Although champagne was spread throughout the ballroom to all the guests, it was in fact orange juice that graced the glasses of the happy couple. Long story behind that one, those who read the proposal story will catch on. It was then the best man’s time to shine. He’d been extensively nervous for the previous hour or so, but he definitely got a lot of laughter out of everyone as he mentioned how when he’d first told me he was getting married I’d said I wouldn’t be getting married until AT LEAST 28. That and my wife must be someone special to get me to change my mind that fast. I made a large snapping motion in the air to confirm his point. Up next was the maid of honor, and although she had a speech prepared it quickly became an emotional moment for everyone. My wife was the first daughter married in her family, so it was easy to realize that although they weren’t saying goodbye forever, it was like the end of a chapter in their lives together. This was even more prevalent when the father of the bride came up to the microphone. Obviously I can’t begin to fathom what it must be like to be the father of a daughter who’s getting married. The love in their family is one of the deepest I’ve ever seen. It’s difficult for me as a newcomer to just instantly feel a part of a family I’ve only known a year, but honestly I’ve never felt more welcomed by anyone’s family outside my own in my entire life. From the first time I met them a few weeks into our relationship, they’ve treated me like anyone would want to be treated. Although at times I felt the pressure of trying to impress everyone at once, in reality it came naturally. All I had to do was love their daughter more than anything, and they could see that no one would take better care of her than I. That doesn’t make letting go any easier however. Although she’d obviously left for college several years ago, and eventually left to join the Air Force and has resided in Germany for over a year, this was yet another kind of goodbye in a way. I felt kind of helpless during their toasts, as there was no real way I could show anyone that as sad as everyone was to “lose” their daughter, in fact she would remain their daughter for the rest of her life, and I had simply assumed responsibility for taking care of her for the rest of mine. As I looked around the room though, it was obvious that everyone was happy for us and could see that the love we share is genuine.

After the toasts I made another attempt to squash in a little more food, and then it was time for my other favorite part of the reception, the infamous first dance. It had been an easy choice of song for us. She’d sang it to me when we revealed our love for another over a year ago, and it had played again just prior to my proposal. I still get goose bumps whenever those first few bars of Etta James’ At Last begins to play, and that day was no exception. I took her hand in mine and led her out to the center of the long dance floor that stretched down the center of the room from the double doors to the head table, and as we embraced and began to sway, the world melted away. I really can’t describe how cute my wife is at point blank range, but I certainly enjoyed spending a few minutes in close proximity. It was only later in the song that I realized the amount of flashbulbs that were going off, but it didn’t affect me in the slightest. It’s funny how short songs can be when you don’t want them to end. Alas eventually there was a dip, a kiss, and as the song ended I raised her hand to my lips, looked into her eyes, and touching my lips to her fingers tried to act as prince-like as possible.

After that came well, a lot more stuff. But you all have been to weddings before. There was the father daughter dance, the mother son dance, the bouquet toss, the garter removal/toss, and at some point it was finally time to eat cake. :) Our elaborate three tiered Mickey shaped cake was a trio of luscious flavors. At one point I managed to finagle my way into having a plate of all three in front of me, and would take a little nibble off of each as time passed. I should mention we both managed to feed each other part of the cake in a kind fashion, without resorting to immature tactics as is so common these days. At some point around this time was when I stepped on her train, ripping the loops that keep it pinned up behind her, causing her to have to carry it over an arm for the remainder of the day. Alas, always the klutz.

Ooh, I guess I should at least attempt to describe the décor. Each of the tables was a theme from a Disney movie involving romance in some way. Lady and the Tramp plushes were part of the centerpiece for one table, Aladdin and Jasmine on another, and so forth. The rest of the centerpiece was this sort of donut shaped glass bowl allowing you to see into the middle, where there were flowers and candles floating in water. Was a neat effect, and allowed people to see across the table without having to talk through anything. Then of course there was tons of Mickey shaped confetti in our color scheme of purple/blue, as well as plenty of chocolate in the form of both the little nuggets with our names on the wrappers and the full size Hershey’s cookies and crème white chocolate ones mmmmmm. Unfortunately in all the hubbub I didn’t have time to eat as much candy as I would have liked. The head table was of course themed Mickey and Minnie, and their plushes hung out in the center adorned in their wedding attire. I was honestly flabbergasted with the way everything came out. You see all the parts and wonder how it will all come together, and it was just gorgeous. In six months my wife and I (she did a majority of the work) had managed to pull it all off.

I must say when the call for the last dance came I was mixed with feelings of surprise and sadness on the inside, as I knew that this part of the day was coming to an end. Those feelings lasted about four seconds though, as I then turned and saw my wife coming towards me with the biggest smile on her face, and I instantly forgot about whatever I was thinking about prior to the smile. One more taking of her hand, one more slow rotation of our combined person, one more song. But actually, not one more. Simply one of countless that we will share through the years.

The guests all lined one of the pathways leading to the road outside, and all were armed with rose petals as we prepared to make our exit. I was personally pelted point blank by many a person, and barely made it uninjured to the waiting limo. Well I say limo, when in reality it was a Hummerzine that showed up to whisk us away. A welcome “free upgrade” as it was later discovered to be, my first limo ride ever turned out to be top of the line. After helping her in and climbing in myself, all that was left was a few more pictures, a few more waves, a few more goodbyes, and we were gone. The day of a lifetime was over. The night of a lifetime was not.

Well, this post can’t go on forever. I’m going to pre-date it with the date of our wedding. I had intentions of including our entire weeklong honeymoon in this post, but the task has proved to be more complicated than expected. It seems so often these days I run out of words to describe the things I’ve seen and done. Will this be the last? I won’t promise anything. :)